For example, I appreciate your mother's face.
So guys, Microsoft finally learned how to read online comments. And swallow more than semen. (their pride, for those of you not paying attention)
Don Mattrick’s First Draft of the Xbox One Update Announcement
Microsoft really needs a PR team.
when i’m married my partner and i will have:
- morning sex
- afternoon sex
- dinner sex
- after meal sex
- i made pancakes sex
- good morning sex
- they kids are at school sex
- shower sex
- bored sex
- make up sex
- break up sex
- obama won sex
- romney lost sex
- monday sex
- tuesday sex
- wednesday sex
- thursday sex
- friday sex
- saturday sex
- monday sex
- there is nothing on tv sex
- i love you sex
what about sunday
sunday is the lord’s day praise jesus
This list seems a little short for a married couple…
(via wanderinglostmind)
Pizza Is My Girlfriend [Click for nail-biting ending]
So this is what true love feels like.
anal sneezes are cute as shit
sorry iphone the word i was looking for was “animal” sneezes better luck next time
this is not what i want to be remembered for
(via squidwardtrtellini)
Mulan alternative ending
(via iammrsn3sbit)
is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing
no its called highjacking
guys no it’s weedwhacking
no its called dissapointing ur mother
(via acidpikachu97)
I’m fun to flirt with but not to date because I’m a psychopath
(via deep-in-a-drugged-sleep)
Anonymous asked: 3ds code?
Thought I made it pretty clear but I guess it was just one post so not everyone saw it; if you guys are gonna send requests for my 3ds info please do it off of anon so I can have some idea of who’s on my friends list. Thanks :D <3
PS: I will reply privately if you so request.
